We Bring Justice (Mostly)
by takokunnn
Summary: Together, they bring justice to the city of Mintonette. Well, as much as they can, anyways. It does not help that one is deaf and the other is borderline insane. (It also does not help that they are both dorks, but at least that is somehow able to appeal to much of the female population. They need a positive public image after all.)
1. Chapter 1

In the dessert just beyond the borders of the city, under a lonely oak tree, there is an abandoned garden shed. The rumour is so, but who can believe a rumour, especially when it talks of a tree in the middle of the desert? How absurd, how absurd indeed.

But that is how the rumour goes, and that is where the oak tree is, supposedly. The garden shed is a ridiculous idea to entertain, though, as ridiculous as the tree.

The rumour goes on to say that if you open the weary old door of the garden shed, you will see a shelf of supplies, colour coded from violet to red. Find a white bottle of pesticide and aim the nozzle at the ground. Press down. Prepare yourself for a moment of weightlessness, and then plummet into the tube the retreating floor left in its wake.

They say you will find yourself in a secret chamber, though not alike the one in Hogwarts, mind you. They say nobody has ever gone down, not a soul, except one.

One whom the world never saw again.

Xxxx

"Are you absolutely sure about this?"

"Naturally. This is perfect."

"But-"

"Dumbass, trust me."

The subject being addressed sniffed indignantly, sticking out his tongue at the one beside him, the one who is his partner. They call him Basileus. That is not his name.

Basileus, or so we shall currently call him, would have turned around and given him a glare, but his eyes were occupied at the moment. The view that night was magnificent, yet it did not draw his eyes away from the man, one who seemed as ordinary as any other.

The man left a luggage in the train station. The luggage held a bomb. They have three minutes.

"Let's go," he said, voice snatched away by the wind before they could reach the other's ears. It does not matter, for the other is deaf. They call him Necauris, which is as you guessed, not his name.

"Okay," Necauris replied. He might not be a good listener, but to make up for that flaw he'd spent all his life learning how to read lips, and now he is perfect at that.

The night was silent, the people were not. They took no notice of the figures darting from shadow to shadow. They didn't feel the absence of the suitcase.

Only the night saw the gloved fingers that snatched the suitcase away.

Xxxx

"Hey, Basil, this isn't a bomb."

"Don't call me that, and this totally is a bomb."

"No, bombs do not come attached with a note. Look."

"Lemme see. _To the infamous superhero duo Basileus and Necauris. Fooled you again, didn't I? Emoji. This is a warning for last week's fiasco. Keep your noses away from my business. More emoji. Or else. –The Imperator._"

Necauris frowned, this is serious business. Being a superhero (a sidekick, actually) is already enough work. Now they have a self proclaimed villain to deal with as well? Come on, give him a break! Being handicapped is hard enough already.

Basileus sighed, "Stop being so angsty, dumbass. We need to come up with a strategy to counter this guy." A natural strategist, it is understandable that he would want to devise something or another for them to fall back on.

"You better not come up with another uselessly nefarious plot, Kageyama."

That's right, the main protagonist of the story is Kageyama, a dark haired individual with superpowers. Wow, who could've imagined, what a surprise! He fights crimes under the alias 'Basileus' along with his ("Equally awesome, mind you!") sidekick, Necauris, also known as-

"Hinata, dumbass, that's where you come in."

All heroes, no matter how powerful, have their own Achilles Heel and their own demons to fight. Kageyama is no different.

Xxxx

"Shotto, did you see them?" Another sidekick asked his superhero curiously, shadowed by the darkness of the night.

"Yeah, they're gone. Honestly, I can't believe them, messing with the Imperator is a stupid thing to do. They have once again left me in awe of their folly. Pathetic, really."

The superhero scoffed, clearly disappointed with the duo. "Come on, Fura. Time to go."

"Okay, Shotto."


	2. Chapter 2

Kageyama would like to say that he is a genius, and he is. What he could never get used to is the negative insinuations attached to the word.

Being a genius doesn't have to mean you're a mad scientist, or a despicable villain, or whatnot. People shouldn't judge a person by their intellect, he believed. People should not be judging other people at all.

Despite the constant lamentations about social issues such as these, however, the blame would not be on us if we were to mistake him for either a mad scientist or a villain, or both, even. I mean, he might be a superhero and all, but he sure doesn't look the part, to begin with.

Unless you're a Batman fan, that is. Basileus is, as Hinata puts it, 'basically drowning in ebony' and 'unbelievably, frustratingly stubborn when it comes to adding colours in his wardrobe'. Yes, indeed, his fashion sense could put any well-dressed villain to shame.

But of course, one should not judge a book by its cover, and therefore one should not be judging a superhero by their attire either. So that brings us to the contents of the proverbial book. Let's see.

It does seem uncomfortably crazy, unfortunately for dear Kageyama. He is not entirely sane after all.

To leave a borderline insane genius alone when he is scheming and plotting usually produces top-notch and immediate results, Hinata thought to himself, walking leisurely down one of the many dark corridors of their hideout. He turns at the corner, arriving at a dead-end. The wall, like a good portion of the other walls in the hideout, is covered with equations and messy annotations.

"With his sidekick being a deaf one, I suppose I should at least keep an eye on him, no?" Hinata mumbles absentmindedly, pushing a hand into Einstein's field equation at the far right of the wall.

A blinding light all but sliced through the darkness, causing the boy to flinch and squint at the light, which grows larger by the nanosecond as the walls retreated into their respective secret compartments swiftly and silently.

Almost immediately, the wall was gone, and what stood in its place was by far one of the most impressive laboratories ever built. Massive and well-furnished, it contains a huge array of ultramodern devices and mind-boggling gadgets. Touch-screen panels, a Tesla Coil, flasks of colourful and probably hazardous substances and even an operating table are just some of the devices in sight. What an amazing laboratory indeed!

Kageyama, our endearing madman, stood in the middle of the breathtaking scene, oblivious to the fact that he was effectively stripping the scene of the grandeur and grace it rightfully deserves.

Hinata couldn't hear, but he could damn well see that his hero dearest was out of his mind, more so than usual, what with that posture of halfway through an evil laughter and all.

The first time he'd seen the alarming display of insanity from the other boy, he was terrified and the panic did not help the situation at all, not one bit. Throughout the years they've spent together, though, he's gotten practice on how to handle Kageyama. In fact, if you ask him to, he is confident that he will be able to produce a very helpful and effective 'Kageyama 101: How To Handle Your (Evil) Genius Superhero'. That is the extend of his dealing with Kageyama.

Grumbling slightly, he stomped towards the source of most of his headaches, right hand already moving into position. The other has yet to realise his presence.

Ready...

Aim...

FIRE!

The volleyball sailed across the air with a graceful arc, spinning with all the elegance of a ballet dancer. Tis the beauty of volley, Hinata thought, tis the beauty that could reduce even the strongest man to tears. A flawless rise to the maximum height, and then a slight dip downwards, gravity-bound, cutting perfectly through the air. He watched with eyes wide as-

'-SMACK!' And then...

... "HINATA, WHAT THE HELL?" Kageyama spun around, eyes ablaze with fiery rage, clutching his now wounded head with one hand and pointing an accusing finger with the other. Hinata watches on, bemused, as realisation dawned on Kageyama that he must've slipped off the edge again.

Kageyama gathered his papers scattered across the floor, frustration giving way to grudging acceptance.

"How many times must I tell you that you just have to give me a good shake and I'll be grounded again?" He complained, the back of his head sore from the assault, "You could have given me a concussion!"

"Ha, as if. Your head is almost as hard as diamond, if not harder," Hinata snorted. The memory of an unfortunate head-butt a few weeks ago is still fresh in his mind. It was not a nice experience.

xxxx

They reviewed Kageyama's plans together over dinner (pork buns and orange juice) and discussed about Kageyama's nonexistent sanity.

("Kageyama, heroes don't build death rays." "Kageyama, heroes don't use bribery either." "Kageyama, this is entirely unrelated to our current concern." "Kageyama, is this a shopping list?")

Xxxx

"Shotto, do you think the author will give us a proper introduction soon?" Somewhere, a certain sidekick asked, munching on his hamburger.

"I sure hope so, Necauris and Basileus have enough screen time already," The hero beside him responded, looking up at the sky with a scowl. "Wouldn't be surprised if that doesn't happen, though. This author is pathetic."

The subject of his jest, better known as the author, is indeed pathetic, but that is irrelevant. What is relevant is that the author is growing tired of these taunts and have just decided to introduce this particular superhero-and-sidekick duo to you before they can come up with better insults.

Having sated his hunger, the sidekick stood up, face clearly conveying his satisfaction. His counterpart showed no sign of noticing the movement, eyes still trained on the rapidly darkening sky. The sun was setting already and night would fill its place soon. He sighed.

Together, they help Basileus and Necauris, artfully dubbed by the media as the Dork Duo, to bring justice to the city of Mintonette.

The hero's name is Shotokeki, and his sidekick, Furaisu. Together, they are the Fast Food duo.

(Do not question their names. It will make Shotto very embarrassed. He was the one who suggested them.)


End file.
